thingsthatcannotsaveyou:
“YOUR LUCKY THREE OF CLUBS PLAYING CARD, ENSHRINED FOREVER WITH THE PHOTOGRAPH OF A HANDSOME BUT STERN MAN YOU’VE COME TO CALL CHET, PROMISING TO BE HIS TRUE FRIEND UNTIL THE FATEFUL DAY HE CAN FINALLY TAKE A BITE OF THAT...

YOUR LUCKY THREE OF CLUBS PLAYING CARD, ENSHRINED FOREVER WITH THE PHOTOGRAPH OF A HANDSOME BUT STERN MAN YOU’VE COME TO CALL CHET, PROMISING TO BE HIS TRUE FRIEND UNTIL THE FATEFUL DAY HE CAN FINALLY TAKE A BITE OF THAT DELECTABLE HOT DOG WITH MUSTARD, CANNOT SAVE YOU

(via hotdog-nightmares)

9th Jun 2023 251 notes

suctioning:

aciddd-angel:
suctioning:
when you unsuspectingly see your best friend at the store
why the fuck would this be my reaction
You must not have a best friend

This is a lie! There’s no hotdogs in that fridge!

(via the-conquest-of-shred)

6th May 2023 778,913 notes

cramulus:

“Marcus Aurelius has already released you from the obligation to have a take”

4th Mar 2023 506 notes

headspace-hotel:

missfay49:
dangerously-human:
orcboxer:
24602060451:
ALT
ALT
ALT
ALT
ALT
Do most of these people perhaps live in a cartoon?
Wtf looks like a soundboard but instead forces you to pay rent?!
why would you have a button in your house for calling the cops

I have four bathrooms in my house (long story). One toilet have no water, one doesn’t let go of the poo, one drains the poo to the floor AND NOW, one is working (used to leak water). Place your bet and make yourself at home.

(via the-cynicall-insurgent)

6th Feb 2023 87,180 notes